Six years how is it possible that you have been gone that long? When it feels just like yesterday. May 7th will forever be etched in my mind. I don’t know that the memories will ever fade. I am sitting here and I can still recall every little detail. I got a call from Paul that we needed a babysitter and we needed one asap. Clue number 1 something was wrong. He never called and told me needed a sitter. I always make our plans to go out. I had a feeling all morning that something wasn’t right. I have done this 4 other times. He just said you need to listen to me and do as I say. Well ok but before I could hang up I blurted Troy (my dad) what’s wrong with him. That is when I got the truth that He was gone. I was half dressed and my pants half on as I was getting ready to take the kids to Jean Rose’s house for a play date. I collapsed to the floor. Tears instant. I still get tight in my chest on this day. I remember Blake running in to check on me from my screams. I scared him and felt horrible for it.
I waited at my moms house for her to return from the hospital. I helped clean up and get it semi organized for her. I also remember feeling horrible that I was moving stuff. As he always knew where his papers were and what was what. I kept waiting for the scolding from him. My mom walked in and she collapsed in my arms. The cry she let out no child should have to hear. It still brings tears to my eyes. Her husband was gone and there was nothing I could do to stop that kind of pain. No words. I remember looking at my brothers and thinking how the hell are they going to grow up without their father. They were robbed. I snuggled up on the couch with James and just let the tears fall. I remember her house being full with people but I couldn’t tell you who was there. We left and got my mom meds. My aunt stayed with her. I went home and held my babies and let the tears fall.
The next day I got up and pulled myself together and went back to my moms. The funeral was beautiful. They sang his favorite hymns and song from the phantom of the opera. I remember Thinking on the way home that Holding his flowers with a sign that said Pop Pop that I was so lucky to have him in my corner. As I was reflecting on the day Ingrid Michaelson The Way I am came on. It was one of his new favorite songs. The boys wanted to talk about Pop Pop that night. So introduced them to Garth Brooks, John Denver and more. We sang and we danced. On this day every year we have an ice cream sundae for dinner, listen to music and dance our hearts out. We remember him but also know he is with each day we walk this earth waiting for our time to meet again.
So Today I ask you to do a random act of kindness in my dads name.
Shannon, Joel, Mom and James I have no doubt that we had all his lovin (chris medina’s version I love it the best)