This Month Oprah has an article that really caught my attention. The basics of the article is figuring out what got you to eat yourself to the weight that you are and transforming your life in 60 days.
In order to do so you need to know the root of your problems.So in an effort to continue to better my health and life I will do this and share it with my mamavation moms.
I was heavy as a kid. When I think back why and how. I can now tell you as an adult. I sought out something to make me feel worth while. Something that satisfied me my needs or what i thought did. I am was always seeking comfort. Who wouldn’t when you had a biological dad who told you that you were never good enough. That wouldn’t amount to anything. That your mother was stupid. Eventually I was stopped being forced to go over there. I was able to trim down some. I finally started to a bit better.
In high school I wasn’t the popular girl. I wasn’t the girl that was called to go out and do things every weekend. I was the girl who my jr and senior year started dating someone who we had a love hate relationship. Every time I said enough he knocked someone up. I never brought him home because I knew family wouldn’t approve. What they did know of him they didn’t like. The summer after my senior year I had enough heartbreak I went to the apartment found him in bed with someone else and decided enough was enough. I loved that ice cream and cookies. I took myself from 110 to 160 didn’t really care at that point.
Met and fell in love with my husband. We had our first child and took myself to 200 pounds. As if that wasn’t enough of a dumping on my ego. He had an affair.Yes we have worked this out and moved on. We got pregnant again. I gained another 80 pounds. Not long after Nate’s birth I was tipping the scales at 350.
What got me there. Food was my comfort. Instead of doing something healthy and taking care of me. I destroyed myself. In June of 06 I had the lap band put in. I came down to 180 in almost 2yrs and was still losing. In May 08 tragedy hit our family. We lost my dad. I ballooned back up to 250. I am back down to 202.
I have honestly been struggling. I have left my support. I have left my family and friends. When you struggle financially like we did this past year you cant afford the healthy stuff all the time. We had about 5 months where we were living on Ramon Noodles and other cheap meals. Not exactly figure family. I have really been recommitting myself. I resist the constant wanting of chocolate and sweets. Sunday I allow myself one treat.I don’t think you can completely deny yourself. Otherwise you will gorge when you have it. When my surgeon asked what I thought my issue was I told him I was an emotional over eater. He looked at me funny. I eat when I am emotional and I don’t know when to stop.
What have I done to help
I eat on a kids size plate.
1 scoop of each thing and my 6 oz of meats.
My meal plan is based on protein. I have to take in between 50-70 grams a day due to my band. I start everyday with an unjury protein shake that is not flavored. I add it into my cereal and don’t know its there.
I am remembering or trying to ask for help.
I am trying to find my braveness to allow Leah to kick my ass in mamavation. Its not that I wont submit. It is having to be brave and admit my faults.
So I ask what has gotten you to be the weight you are today? Do you believe you can change your ways?