I am not one to out and out cry most of the time. Though I have been more emotional lately.
I feel like my family keeps getting slammed. I am doing what I can to keep my chin up and put on my brave face. Yet every night when I know it is just me up I sit in the living room in the dark and just cry. Paul and I have never been this poor. There is no other way to put it. We are poor. He is working 60 plus hours a week and we have nothing to show for it. His company has taken away hot list cars, They have taken away other bonus stuff.
MY husband is broken. He feels like he is failing. We have applied for help to be told that we can get 1.25 in food stamps. Our ssi for the boys was cut dramatically that doesn’t help with their cost of living. I know he works hard everyday. I have call into my boss to see if I can at least get a few hours this week. I am hoping so.
I look at my boys and am thankful that we are able to keep it together for them and they don’t see the struggle. I feel like complete crap when I say no we cant do that because we don’t have the money. I have thought we have hit our bottom so things would turn around and that has yet to happen. I am just feeling a bit broken.
I want to fix this and yet we cant. I hope when he leaves in July he comes home with a new job. A new start. That is all we want. CT has completely broken our spirits. I know we will get through this. I just have no where else to vent this. Thanks for listening.