I received a message on January 11th to call home. I didn’t think much of it. It was coming from Laurie who is like my older sister. Didn’t think much of it. Honestly thought it was about my nephews pending adoption by her. It wasn’t that it was to let me know about Paul’s mom. You can read what happened that specific day here.
I believe in open book policy with my readers. I believe that if I am putting it out there you deserve the truth and not the fluffy our life is full of rainbows streaming out of our ass. Our life right now is not like that. We are left with speculation and trying to figure out what to do with everything. I am going to protect some details of what unfolded for the simple fact my husband asked me to. I have to respect him in that sense.
We learned my Mother in Law overdosed. The Medical Examiner performed an autopsy to give Paul and the family some closure as to what was in her system and everything else. I wish I had pushed my husband to call home more. I wish she would have told him what was really going on. I can say she was an addict and apparently still is. I have no doubt that she lapsed due the HUGE amount of stress Paul’s sister placed and demanded of her. It was the only way she could numb the grief and aggravation her own daughter placed on her.
So now we are piecing together the last few days of her life. It is not an easy thing to piece together as we know there will always be gaps. We have learned that Paul’s sisters facility called and told her that Danielle will be kicked out if she keeps up the atrocious behavior that she was doing. From sex to picking fights, to down right lies. Really in all honesty nothing will ever change. This is the life Danielle has chosen for herself. She too will pass one day alone and not 1 person caring. We will all sigh relief that she is gone and the drama can stop. Cold? Yes!. This girl destroyed the life of my nephew. He has so many issues with Trust, anxiety and other fears. It breaks my heart that a 7 year old can carry so much burden. Luckily he is placed and learning how to be a child.
Paul had to make the choice on wether to let her be a donor. We chose donation. We got a letter in the mail a few days ago. Her liver went to a man in Mass. Her heart a lady in CT. Her kidney to a man in CT and a lady in NJ. She also donated tissue, bone, tendon and skin. This is about the only good thing to come out of her death.
I can’t even begin to tell you how obnoxious his Aunts and Sister were to him in that hospital. They wanted to fight everything. They treated family that came from miles away like crap. His cousin started shit. His Uncle started attacking me on facebook. We are so glad he is 4000 miles away and not having to deal with these people again. I guess you see peoples true colors when someone passes. Instead of being helpful they caused more issues than anything else. At the last second wanted to be hailed heroes by donating to her funeral costs. Yes thank you for that contribution but don’t make my husband feel like he owes you. I have been around for the last 12 years. They just showed their face for the brothers death in October and now for this. In 12 years I have met 1 aunt once and never the other 2. So you know how involved they were.
We are thankful for her fiance. He is dealing with packing up the house and taking what he wants. What he doesn’t will be donated to a domestic violence shelter and rehab center. So she is able to help that way as well.
What I want everyone to take away from this story is to have your affairs in order. Don’t let your life insurance lapse. It is expensive to bury a loved one. Make sure that if something sounds out of place, off and is not sitting well with you that you follow up with the person. You never know when tomorrow won’t happen with you or a loved one. If someone threatens to kill themselves don’t take it lightly and they are having a bad day. Follow up and make sure they are ok. Make sure they know you care. Also consider giving the gift of life. We are all organ donors in our home.
We are month out from losing his mom. We are still trying to sort everything out. Paul is grieving hard, even though he says he is fine. It kills me at times to watch him. My kids are ok. I am ok just left with the why our love wasn’t enough for her and how one person could completely destroy another.
We have learned to not take one day for granted.