Paul and I attended his Military Ball earlier this month. We were the oldest people at the table. When did that happen? We were surrounded by 18-20 year olds. All of whom asked how long we had been married and a few jaws dropped when I said how long. They all joked how do you survive it with him? My response wine lots of wine. In honesty it is not to hard. We both take our vows seriously. We both genuinely love each other. We both agreed to a few things before we decided to get married and some we have learned along the way. Marriage is hard work but when you are married to someone who has the same values and wants as you it is easy.
1. Never Go To Sleep Mad: We have lived by this since we started dating. Both of us having come out of bad relationships. I would go to bed pissed off and annoyed. He would do the same. We always work out our differences before we go to bed. We always say I love you before we go to sleep.
2. Fight fairly. Don’t low blow the other person. You have a right to be angry or annoyed but you do not have the right to be cruel.
3. COMMUNICATION: It is like people have forgotten how to sit down and talk about how they feel. You can’t understand a persons true tone through a text. I promise you can’t You also have to communicate your little annoyances before you blow up at the other person. They are not a mind reader. This is one that I struggled with in the beginning and still do at times. In my last relationship before Paul I was always told I was wrong or crazy.
4. Date nights. We always have at least one date night a month. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you should stop dating your spouse. You need that time away from work, kids and school. Whatever the other distraction maybe. Shut your phones off and enjoy each others company.
5. The little things matter. I love getting up and the fact my husband will have coffee ready for me. The random love notes. I send text off to him through out the day. The little things that you do for each other mean the most over the big expensive things.
These have kept my marriage going and healthy. These are just a few lessons we have learned over the years. No need to complicate life when work and so many other things are complicated. I love when he gets home and we have our family time. It is the easiest part of our days.
What is some of the best marriage advice you have gotten?