this is wiki’s definition of hope= Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
This is what we have left at this point. Things cant get any worse than what we are right now. I am trying hard to keep hope alive in me. I know I will feel better once I am out of my apartment and in with my mom for a few months. While Paul is off working. With that brings fear.
Paul and I met nine years ago august. We have spent everyday togeather with the exception of 22 days. 6 with each kid and 3 when my appendix was out. 5 with my hystorectomy and the 1 day with my lapband. The overnight he took his trip with blake. We are looking at 8 weeks apart. I know military families do this all the time. i dont have to worry about him dying. It is hard to be here all day with the boys and then have no relife at night. I have done it when he worked big box. It is one thing when it is not raining. It has been wet 12 consective days. Not fun. I am not complaining. I really am not. This is for me to work through how I am feeling. I know we can make this work. It just is hard missing your better half. I miss him when he is at work. I miss him like crazy. He makes me smile. I fall asleep on his chest and him rubbing my back. What am I going to do for 8+ weeks, I am staying behind for the simple fact that I have worked to hard for the last 2 years for weightloss not to have my plastic done and have my fab new self.
I am so proud of myself. Two years ago today I had my lapband surgery. I have lost a two people have more saggy nasty skin than I can count. So gross. I am happy. Feeling better. My ms isnt as bad. I have gotten rid of high blood pressure and diabites. no one can take that from me. So that is the reason for our seperation
I hope you all have a wonderful night. I am going to find renewed faith.