Dear PVT Obnoxious:
Seeming I can’t use your real life picture this one of the toy Army guy will have to do. Since I have seen you bust out this move before. Here is my list of complaints for you. I hope you will rectify these quickly. Though you know nothing about my website. You seem like the stalker type to look and search my husbands name. Since I have had hits from FT Lee, I am going to have to assume it is you.
My first complaint your bodily functions. They seem to be even louder over computer speakers. Would it kill you to close the bathroom door when you pee. I really don’t need to hear that race horse. Since most nights it is my dinner time and then I loose my appitate to eat my lean cuisine. Those suckers are to expensive to waste. Just sayin.
Next on the list if you hear my solider say hey boys that should be your clue to not use such foul language. They are young and imprssionable. If they hear you saying the things you are they may think its ok. At least If I say it I have noone to blame but me for the bad behavior but right now you are a great blame. Lets clean it up.
Which leads me to this point. I don’t care about your sex life or the lack there of. Do you not think we are not all suffering as well. My kids don’t need to hear this. Yes we sit as a family to talk to the kids Daddy and my husband. You make that process really difficult. As I have to censor everything and this is now cutting on the kids time for talking and connecting with daddy. Please stop PVT Pea Brain.
Speaking of Skype just because my husband has ear phones in doesn’t mean it blocks your loud mouth out. If I was your mother and you ever called me fat and other horrid things you called her. I would smack the shit out of you. I hope the Captin walks in one day on you talking like that to your mother. The fact that you blatantly tell her that you are going to smack her doesn’t leave me with the warm and fuzzies. This leads me to believe you don’t have a girlfriend or someone special because we judge how you treat your mother , as to how well you will treat us. Luckily my husband was a momma’s boys until she went crazy. Learn some respect. For crying out loud that women gave birth to you. Please Take note on the other two Army PVT who bunk with you and how respectful they are of peoples conversations.
Next thing why at 19 does my husband and the other room mate have to waste their valuable time waking your ass up? If you are able to sign your name on the dotted line to serve the country and fire weapons. I am pretty sure you are then man enough to be responsible on waking your own ass up. Luckily for you I will be sending you the most obnoxious alarm clock I can find. I was kind enough to find a recordable one and tape my kids pitching a fit on it for you. That will promptly be mailed Tuesday morning when I return home.
My last two complaints rolled into one, my husband doesn’t need to stop every three second to help you with something. You are cutting into his family time on the computer knock it off. Also you need to stop leaving your shit around. I have heard the SGT complain and now you risk losing my husband and the other roomies weekend passes. I am pretty sure if you mess this up for them the first weekend of october, you will have lots of prayers to be said. Though I am sure they will give you a 20 second head start before they capture you and start singing Henry the 8th Iam. What you haven’t realized PVT Obnoxious is we have all thought of ways to drive you as crazy as much as you drive us crazy.
Instead of dreaming about my husband, I dream about how to torture you instead. This is where the obnoxious alarm clock came in. So if you would promptly fix these complaints. I would be so greatful. Please watch for the vlog on properly saying my name. I will be sure to email you copy so you can practice. Seeming he has told you and so have I. If you wish to say it wrong I will have to be forced to call you PVT Shithead.