I was asked by sister this past week, If I had a crystal ball would I do everything the same way. Yes I would. I think the only thing that would change would be the amount I give. I have learned relationships are 100:100 ratios. I haven’t always had that. That is what makes me sad is that I have given up friends because they just wanted to suck the life out of me.
She said even knowing what I know about my children and the fact that Paul has joined the military. Yes even knowing that. My children are my world and reason for living. I love the life lessons that they teach me. I wouldn’t trade what my husband is sacrificing for his family. We do the best that we can with what we are given.
I tried to explain to her that knowing things could send you down a life’s path that is 20 times worse than the one that you are living right now. I know I am on my intended path and I am thankful that it isn’t harder than what it has been. I wouldn’tchange my life lessons, even if I had a chance to know. That yes my days are long and hard at times. Find me a mom who doesn’t have those days.
I had to laugh with all of her what ifs and why wouldn’t you. I guess I forgot what it was like to be 24. Let alone single. I see that she does have things that she wants to change. Maybe just maybe if I had walked in her shoes than I would want a do over. I know she has walked a hard road but I do wholeheartedly believe that she brought it on herself. I can see the guilt at times. I know she is learning. I am starting to see her become a grown up. I couldnt be more proud of her.
So if you had a chance to look in your crystal ball would you do the same path or would you change it?
“Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace
And I’m learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes
Oh, I’ve felt that fire and I, I’ve been burned
But I wouldn’t trade the pain for what I’ve learned
I wouldn’t trade the pain for what I’ve learned
Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel
Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell
But I’m not scared at all
Of the cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball” -Pink