Two years ago today we learned the news of my dads death. I am still hurting as much as I was that day. I am still aching to hear his laugh and share my thoughts of whats going with our lives. Two years ago I said goodbye to a man who knew how to be a dad. The man who gave me away on my wedding day and held my babies first. Though he wasn’t my dad by blood. He is my daddy through actions and love. My heart has broken and a tiny pieces missing. A song came on the radio the other day that made me think of him. It’s called Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood
So true this is our temporary home and then we will meet again. I am looking forward to that day. I miss him everyday. My kids miss him every day. My mom and brothers miss him everyday.
Two years ago wasn’t only my dad who died. A piece of my mom died that day and I will never get that mom back. While we have moved forward each day. We have not moved as we once were. We are not the same. We are strong each day. Don’t get us wrong because when we are alone late at night our tears fall. For me they fall silently when its all quite in the house and I am the only one left a awake. I wonder what life would be like if he was still here walking this journey with us. I can’t express fully the pain we feel. Our anger has faded.
It was just a few days ago that I grabbed a picture to look at his hands. I swore my brother has his hands. They matched perfectly. Joel and him. James has his goofy laugh and overly wild side. He has the I am invincible teen mind that his dad had. I want to scream at him that your dad always thought he could do it all. He couldn’t. I want to scream at my mom to get it together come back to us. Your kids need you. Your grand kids need you.
Two years ago our lives changed forever….
miss and love you!!!